In this post I will detail what I remember of my childhood abuse. One purpose of this post is to make it clear that there was far more abuse than most people seem to realize, particularly from my Mom and her associates. The first incident I remember is from Fall 1995. This is when my brain was split apart. I believe this is essentially what the music video of My Chemical Romance’s “The Black Parade” is referencing(though the actor in the video is much older than I was). I do not know who took me to the abuse. It could have been my Dad, it could have been my best friend’s Dad(who has the same first name as my Dad). I do vaguely remember being given a pep talk on the way there. Like along the lines of you need to be brave/heroic type of deal and this is for the greater good etc. I do not remember who I was talking to, but I think it was one of the two of my Dad or my childhood best friend’s Dad(my Dad, my best friend, and his Dad all have the same name). The only thing I remember from the electroshock is a very faint memory of my Uncle. I think he may have been interceding to maybe stop things when he realized how horrific what was going on actually was. Although that could have easily been a ruse to condition me psychologically into thinking he wasn’t in on it(he was for sure). That is all I remember of that incident. The next episode of abuse was at the hands of people my Mom exposed me to in California. She took me there on a vacation, which I believe was over the winter break between 1995-96. This was in LA/Hollywood where she used to work in the movie business and had some associates. All I remember of this incident is when she picked me up. It was at some sort of strip mall and all I can remember is getting into her car crying and her being extremely dismissive of my obvious trauma and pain. I am sure that I was drugged and consequently could not remember any of the abuse etc, but I remember her cold indifference and the immense trauma I felt being dismissed so readily. I believe this is when the “female alter-ego” in my brain was created through sexual abuse and brain programming. This is also when they made me, for lack of a better description, into a pervert. This was mind control manipulation/engineering. This was when I was in 1st grade(1995-1996). I have very distinct memories of kindergarten and then my entire memory collapses around this time. I remember the hallway of the school I went to, both just prior to and just after the first abuses. It was like the life/color had been sucked out of reality. It is not until 3rd grade that I really start to remember much of anything again. There is more or less a two year gap. I assume my Mom could have exposed me to far more abuse that I simply have no recollection of. I would say it is highly likely that she did given the other things she has done. She befriended the wife of a good friend of my Dad’s and would intentionally drug me into a sexually depraved alter-ego state when I was around their two daughters. She did this numerous times. I distinctly remember the acrid bubbly taste of the drugs she gave me. On one occasion I remember refusing to be drugged as I had started to associate the altered state of consciousness with the drugs. And she definitely tried to force me to take the drugs. I do not remember if she succeeded as I think this alter-ego she was drugging me into combined with the drugs themselves severely impaired my memory(although that could also have been mind control). It is important to note that I was not sexual at this point, I was 6-8 years old for these incidents and had no concept of sex outside of the abuses. So rather than essentially sexual behaviors I was enacting the abuses I had been exposed to when she would put me into these drugged states. Another critical abuse juncture is approximately when I was in 6th grade. I had watched the movie “the phantom menance” and had identified with the boy anakin in it to such a degree that I wanted to pursue acting in some sort of mimetic desire to bring the world of star wars to life as much as possible. This was for sure mind control. Anyway, I told my Mom of this desire(she had already exposed me to the world of acting a bit when I was younger) and she took me to a house to get “Acting lessons.” I remember her crying when she dropped me off there(she was probably trying to manipulate my brain similar to how my Uncle feigned trying to get the electroshock to stop). I distinctly remember being drugged as soon as I got to the house. I remember the woman smiling at me as she offered me a drink, which I drank and I remember essentially nothing after that. I think my memory of this woman has been manipulated. I think it may even have been the woman presiding over this whole evil operation, but in my memory it looks like Ghislaine Maxwell. Given that my brain was fundamental to the most horrific aspects of that trafficking ring, I suppose that is possible. However, I can tell that my memory of the event has been altered so I can’t be sure. I strongly believe that the girl I ended up dating at the university of michigan was at these “Acting lessons” and was put into my brain there with the intention of being set up with her when I got to college. I very vaguely recall sexual abuses in a basement at said acting lessons and I very vaguely recall a naked girl or girls in the basement as well. The main purpose of this post is to simply recall my experiences as a child, but also to emphasize just how incredibly evil my Mom actually is. These are all real memories that whoever is operating on my brain can draw up. There are multiple legitimate memories of my Mom drugging me in different places and at least one of her encouraging my perverse sexual aggression(imitating the abuses I endured) in the drugged states she put me into. These are not false memories nor have they been altered.